I have NEVER enjoyed anything more in life than being a stay at home dad. I waited a long time to do it, though. Our first wasn’t born until I was 35 years old. Welcoming that first, then a second, and a third and having the opportunity to watch them grow has been the best and hardest thing I’ve ever done.

My wife and I had always been of the same mind when it came to raising children.

We wanted to have one of us at home with them as they grew up. Why even have kids, we figured, if you didn’t plan on being the one to mold and raise them?

I spent 3 years as a stay at home dad. I changed a lot of diapers, made a lot of formula and cereal, and read more than my share of kid’s books. Trips to the library and grocery store. Loads of laundry and housework. Watching Sesame Street. Doing Barney impersonations.

Being a stay at home dad can really mess with your “John Wayne.” I was initially concerned about what other guys might think but was pleasantly surprised that there were usually only two reactions. Guys would light up with excitement and say, “I wish I could do that!” or they would shake their head and say, “I could NEVER do that.” Envy or admiration, I could handle that.

We initially made the decision to reverse our roles simply because my job required a great deal of time and was constantly conflicting with our family priorities. My wife was a school teacher and as such, she had a good schedule, decent wages and benefits. She set out to work and I stepped into housework.

Parenthetically, I don’t know who invented this idea that a woman needs to cook a great dinner, put on something sexy and get ready for her man to come home. My experience was that at 5 or 6pm when she got home from work, all I cared about was getting some relief and having another adult human being to converse with.

It usually took me a good half hour or so just to explain that day's exploits... "The dry ice in the sink is our science experiment, the 2 liter bottle full of slugs is from this morning’s “slug hunt”, and the laundry isn’t done again because we wrestled for over 2 hours this morning and ended up taking an extra long nap."

After my three year position as stay at home dad, we decided to move to Southern California where I got a job as a car salesman. My wife had a strong desire to be home more with the kids and so it was my responsibility to support the family financially again.

My new job required me to work sometimes seven days a week and many, many hours. Although the money was great, this was not my idea of the perfect lifestyle that I planned on having with my family.

When my wife was a teacher, we never had enough money to do the fun activities and travel like we always dreamed about doing as a family. When I was working a commission sales position, we had plenty of money but no time to enjoy it. I want the best of both worlds!! Financial and Time FREEDOM!!

During my time back at work as a salesman, I came to some major conclusions:

I knew that I was not the boss so I wasn’t in charge of making any of the decisions.

I knew that I could only earn what I could produce. My time was worth only so much.

I knew that if I didn’t work I wouldn’t get paid. Time off or an injury meant no income.

I knew that it would be a long time before I saved or earned my way to retirement.

I knew that if I didn’t own the business my children wouldn’t be inheriting any of it.

I knew that I could and needed to find something better.

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